Premenstrual tension is usually seen as a bit of a joke. But really, I am so totally scarred by it. I have a serious problem with my periods, so much so that I was prescribed antidepressants for them. The first half of my life was spent having numerous mental break downs. I was told many a time I had bipolar or depression or social phobia or agoraphobia, blah blah blah and was then basically left to my own devices. How did I not realise my periods were connected to my mental health? Well I did, I just didn’t have the objectivity to see the whole picture. Periods play a huge role in female psychological well being. And maybe it’s the periods that are outrageous or that any and all underlying mental health conditions are/can/may be triggered and worsened every month by our hormones. It’s rather like the chicken or the egg question right?
The intensity of my feelings are always so high during those few days that the embers of its intensity linger. Feelings I have only felt during difficult periods in my past would resurface and with it the memories. This plethora of hormones, unconscious feelings resurfacing, old memories, triggering flashbacks and so forth, ended up not just disappearing after the hormones themselves disappeared. They were hard to put out and went smouldering on through the rest of the month. Ready to rear their ugly head in say, ooo about another 28 days. It’s enough to get any one depressed, and it does if you’re not careful.
“I have crazy bad periods and want to disappear from the planet once a month, every month”….and breath. There, I said it and so can you. We deserve a bloody rest during this time. Some self care and self love and to eat all the chocolate we desire.
But I still don’t want to press that darn publish button!
Why am I sharing this? I want to embrace and help by being authentic and honest, rather than obsessively trying to hide the fact I’m mental for a week every month.
So come on, I’m gonna need something in return. I’m all alone here in cyber space pouring my heart out to a void! How do you cope with periods? How does your family cope? Even just to say, hey Louise, I hear ya! It’s anything but a joke.